Saturday, July 27, 2013


Being at the conference again was so good that I just couldn't write about what I saw/thought/felt in one post, I have to do it in parts.
So this time, is the turn of how I felt and what I thought about something that has made a huge difference in my life. INDEPENDENT LIVING.

While I was walking around and listening to the people talk about their lives and how they wished that could to this or that, I thought why are they not trying, And I'm not talking about trying it once and then decide that you can't, I'm talking try until you found a way - and yes, there is always a way- Believe me, when you are put in a situation where you have no one to help and you HAVE to do it, you will. Two personal examples that I can give you are, Until I was around 11 years old I couldn't button my own trousers (pants). I always had someone helping and my friends used to make fun of me all the time, they called me lazy and things like that, used to get frustrated and always thought they didn't understand, but how wrong I was, they where always right, I was just being lazy, coz when I went to spend the summer to another town and I was staying with family friends and I didn't feel confortable to ask for their help all the time so, I spent a morning firguring out how to do my buttons and since that morning I do it myself. The other one was socks, I had- as many people do- an adaptive sistem to put my socks on. One day I was again in another city all by my self and my thingy broke, well that city is normaly -5c, so I had to put them on or I wasn't going to eat that day (as I had to go out to get food). It took me from 8 am till 6 pm to figure out how to put my socks on, but guess what? I DID IT!
It has worked for me every time, with creativity and determination I got it done.

So, I have to be honest and I hope you don't mind me saying this, but If saying it is going to help you in some way then I will, even I hurt peoples feelings a little bit, it really frustrated me when I saw all this parents "helping" their kids do things I KNEW they could do by their selfs. For example, while having the all American cookout, I was seating  with a lovely familiy and we where chating about life and all of the sudden the AMCer said: Can you help me with my drink? and the dad put the glass in his mouth and he drunk away, I had to ask why he didn't do it by himslef?, His answer was: Because I can't do it myself, I said : TRY! Do it now. the family was a little in shock when he actually did! He grabed the glass and drunk. He turned away and said to me I didn't even know I could do it!

AMCer if you do it yourself, to begin with you are going to feel slow and silly, but after practice you will get better and faster, and you will master any task you want. So please, do this for you! It's going to change your life. You will realize the more you do the more you will want to do, and this will lead to your idependence. And please remember that to be succesful you need to fail a couple of times, so keep going no matter what.
Parents think of steping a side as a present for your kid, if he/she has time, make them figure it out. They will thank you later.

I'm 29 years old, I left home when I was 18 to live by myself, and I have lived in the USA, England, Spain. I travelled alone or with friends not having to worry about how I do this or that, I work really hard to be independent and now I'm having the bets of times because of that.



  1. Great post! I relied on my Mom for dressing and so many other things until I was 15 and moved in with my older sister for a few months after living several years in Europe with My Mom. Mom THOUGHT she was helping me cope by doing just about everything for me. When I arrived at my sister's and realized she worked full time, I was on my own. I learned to hook my bra, open a soda bottle, tie my shoes, babysit children and so much more. The frosting on the cake was getting my driver's permit/licence! When Mom returned to the US she hardly recognized her 'helpless' daughter. I often wonder how my life would have been different if I had not gone to live with my sister all those years ago. Mom loved(s) me so much, but she never understood how limiting her paradigm was. Today, I am 57, was married for 22 years (happily divorced),enjoyed a career I loved, have a beautiful daughter, granddaughter and financial security. None of which would have happened if I didn't learn to think outside the box. Kudos to you for keeping it real! <3

    1. Helo Moira,

      Firstly I want to thank you for reading the Blog, All you have said is true all the rewards that those moments of struggle of having to deal with what is around with no help are magnificent. And I thank the world that puts it self in my way so I can surprise my self every time I concord every task I tought I couldn't do by my self.

      We are very lucky, because we are blessed to be surprised more often with mormal things.