This past week has been odd - for lack of better word -, woke up on Monday feeling totally grey and I kept asking myself what was wrong, it is not often that I just don't fancy living and enjoying the moment 100% but this was happening, I just wanted to sit and stare at the world go by without putting anything into it. As I was trying to explain it to my husband, he came with the thought that I might be a little sad/depressed, but it wasn't it, this was different, I just wasn't feeling anything, it was as if I was in Stand By mode. I decided that it was better to let this odd situation take its own course because, if it was happening, it had to be for a reason. So, I went with flow and something extraordinary happened, when I shut my head up, I was able to hear that all I needed was to stay still, my soul was trying to keep up with my mind, but my mind had been going 100 miles per second in the last few months, I've been trying to work on my blog, thinking of starting a book, giving talks, organizing and attending special events for friends and family, making so many calls a day for work, attending work meetings and trying to keep my happy levels up while dealing with hard times in my financial personal life that are still present from the business we closed two years ago. All of this in addition to my day to day life. This was too much, maybe if had kept going and ignoring it, it would have had bad consequences, the difficult thing is that nowadays we think of being busy as good thing, the busier we are the "stronger" we feel and we just think to ourselves that it is fine not to have time, it means that you are doing important things and to have a moment to sit down and stare out the window to give yourself a calm moment is not only not an option but a waste of time. This week has been an eye-opener for me, it has taught me something really important that I intend to apply in my life for the rest of it, I have to be "selfish" every now a then and make time to reconnect with my soul, its needs and conquer from within. A troubled soul will lead me nowhere.
I would like to invite you to try for a day, forget your work demands, your tv programs, don't run the errands, forget your homework, your physio, friends and just close yourself off and search within you for what you want, need, and hope for. The plans on how to achieve all of this will all soon flow by themselves.
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